Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
how does that bad decision feel?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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