If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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