i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
