Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
