Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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