Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
