this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
