It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
