They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
