he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
