Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize