Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
