I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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