I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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