and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
