its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All the doctor said was why
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
