Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
