i permit you to call me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
