let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
