We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
