What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
