How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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