I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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