woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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