Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
