the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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