There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
