I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
