come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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