we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
