we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
