Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
