Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
