To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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