saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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