Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
