Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
