remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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