Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
