My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
