ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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