Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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