Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
