I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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