A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
