You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
