his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
