She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
