So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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