she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
