nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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