i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I am morally bankrupt
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
