six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize