he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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