He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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