id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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