how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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