i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
