just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
