They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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