Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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