i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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