Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
