I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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