Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
