As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
