lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
