Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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