im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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